Hey, hey. You gonna hook me up?

You know they have hormones for this shit? Like, 'Oh hey, you've got the wrong ones? Lemme hook you up with some grade A shit like TESTOSERONE" MMMMM I love me some testosterone. Do you have some? Can you hook me up? I'll pay for that shit. Do you know what T does? It DROPS YOUR VOICE as well as YOUR BALLS. Too bad it wouldn't make my ovaries turn into some fucking testicles god dammit. How cool would it be to take hormones and have your genitals turn into the opposite sex?! Well I don't know how many of you would enjoy that BUT I FUCKING WOULD OMGFFFFG.

The other night I was hanging out with some friends and we were playing five fingers cause we're classy like that. One guy goes "I've never tried on a bra just for fun" and of course I don't put a finger down because WHY WOULD I EVER WANT TO DO THAT. Anyway, my buddy pauses for a second and asks if a girls two piece bathing suit counts when he was 11. And everyone is like hahaha no I don't know and the guy that originally said it started going on about "Why would you do that? Yeah, anyone would do it if they were a freak" and blah blah blah being closed minded blah blah blah. My buddy gets on the defense (cause what the fuck else can you do when some guy is telling you HEY DUDE YOU'RE A FREAK) and I jump in and get all up in this dudes grill about how why would that be wrong what fuck is wrong with that. He goes on some bullshit about how 'Well it isn't normal and societal pressure and waaaaaaah' I tell him 'well of course it isn't considered 'normal' yet because people won't allow this shit to be normal (which it is regardless of what the general population says)' And the discussion continued for a few minutes with statements like 'You gotta fight the societal pressure' and blah blah blah. Point being is that I have never met someone that would talk that way, and I was not prepared for that shit. I have some friends who warned me but I was like 'Nah man everyone is cool. It'll be cool. Don't worry it's cool.' But seriously, how do you talk to someone like that? I don't wanna scream YOU'RE A DICKHOLE SHUT YOUR FAT MOUTH even though that's what I wanted to say. You gotta ease your way in, start slow, build up to your major point and BAM! BLOW THEIR FUCKING MIND.

And with that, my friends, I bid you adieu