SO. ON TO THE QUESTIONS.
Question #2: Was it a relief to know that there was help out there?
Well to be honest, at first at I wasn't worried about help. I didn't think I needed it really. I was all like "argh I'm a BEAST I got this all I need is to change my name and get some MOTHERFUCKING TESTOSTERONE FUCK YEAH" It was really awesome to watch youtube videos of other trans guys and their transition. Watching their face change shape gradually, their voice drop, how they started to work out and the development of their muscles. It was really fucking badass. But as time wore on other emotional problems starting creeping up. My invisible wall between myself and the world was indeed coming down. And that was incredible. Instead of being all "ooooohmygod I don't understand" it was more "FUCK YEAH I'M AWESOME LOOK AT MEEEEEEEE" And then I started to think 'it would have been awesome to have experienced high school like this. And middle school. And, well fuck, it would have been awesome to be like this all the time.' Which is when it hit me: there was so much more to this than just going through a transition. All of a sudden I had to come to terms with realizing why I was so uncomfortable all those years. It was more relieving to finally have therapy set up than it was knowing that there was help out there. Although, I think that's because I already knew, I just didn't think I needed it.
Question #3: How do you cope with those who don't understand or accept?
Quite the toughie actually. Most of the time, if people are being super dicks about it I just want to beat them. BUT. That typically doesn't solve much. And really I've only met one person who had a serious problem with it. His main arugment was something along the lines of "Well there are societal pressures that you conform to, and it's easier to do that than fight them. Because it's hard to fight them" and I responded with "That is the EXACT reason why you should. Why should you conform? It is that kind of thinking that prevents any societal pressure to be overturned. People don't want to see change, and most of the time don't want to hear about it either. But what about people of color? What about women? How many pressure were there against them?" And even now, gay and lesbians are gaining ground in society. A majority of the pressure there is from the older generation, and again that's a huge change for them from it being something they never heard about it. It was not long ago that people though gay men were the source of AIDS. And while gay men still can't donate blood (stupid), gay men are more accepted now than they ever have been (well, since the times of the Greeks and Romans). On top of that, they are no longer considered the "source of AIDS". If I was around someone who had a serious problem with transgender and transsexual people, I would simply ask "Why? What is so wrong with it? What don't you like about them? How are they different from any other person besides having a major birth defect?" I feel a lot of the time people are just uneducated. They've never met a transgender person before. Many people don't give a shit how you identify as long as you're not running around raping people and killing shit. And I don't want someones first experience of a trans guy to be his fists. It is seriously irritating to hear someone talk shit about it, but I personally think that a better solution is to reach out to them instead of trying to fight them.
Question #4: How is the family taking it?
They have been really supportive! It's been an interesting ride hearing the different reactions as I slowly come out to them. I haven't had any WHAT THE FUCKS yet or any other seriously negative reactions. I have had some where people feel a loss, and don't necessarily want a change. But I don't press anything on them, I just let them have their time to process. I still have to sit down with my immediate family and confirm that this is really happening, they can ask me any questions, and I hope they can support me in this transition. I do feel bad for taking something away from them. But for me, I never was the person that they saw so it is a lot easier for me than for them. I have to throw a big thanks out there to you guys though. I am incredibly fortunate to have the support and I am SO EXCITED TO BE A BROTHER OMGGGGGGG
Some of the best advice I have been given so far is "Just remember that everyone only has to deal with YOUR transition. YOU have to deal with everyone else"
I think I'll wrap up here, just a few more things....
One thing I fucking love about facebook is that everything I think is hilarious IS ALWAYS THERE. I can go on whenever I want to, find the funny shit and laugh my ass off! It's BRILLIANT. Also, thank god none of that stupid myspace crap of "pic comment 4 pic comment XDXDXDXD OAMGRFUEAHGOUFREA" is on there cause that shit was stupid. Point being, I can find the funniest shit all the time and not have to try to remember how funny it was.
I also get a kick out of the different sites that people have found my blog through. My personal favorite would be "sex-dating"
And with that dear readers, I'm off to do math homework HUZZAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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