The Quest for the Master of Shots

Really? A whole MONTH? I thought that'd never happen! But I guess things changed once I started posting on youtube.

SO ANYWAY. The appt with the doctor went well! For more details, please check out my OWN YOUTUBE VIDEO!!!! *shock and awe*

So now here's the UPDATE ON THAT!!! I started email conversing with the secretary at the doctor's office (superdy duper nice!! She used TWO exclamation points!) today to figure out when my next appointment would be. The first email I get says she scheduled for me January 26th and I'm all FUCK YES. THIS IS AS AWESOME AS MOTHERFUCKING CANDY ON SALE. BRING. IT. ON. But before I respond to that one, I get ANOTHER email telling me 'nevermind, he doesn't need to see you until March.' And proceeded to ask if I wanted to schedule that appointment. So I say "well blah blah blah spring break blah blah free any time blah blah dates" and then asked if she knew if I would get my prescription sent over here or if I'd get it in March. Because why the fuuuuck would they wait that long? I had not heard a medical reason (such as "Your bp is too high" or "You have to be able to do 30 pushups" or "You're dead.") so I was ON THE EDGE OF MY PHONE waiting for the next email.

DUN DUN DUN. YOU'LL GET IT IN MARCH. AT YOUR APPOINTMENT. IN MARCH. DURING YOUR SPRING BREAK. IN MARCH.

So I went home and watched AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER and tried not to think about it. I did, of course, email her back before getting sucked into AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER. I asked if there was anyway to get the prescription earlier, and told her that I could make the appointment in January (which was no problem to begin with). I waited and waaaaaaited while watching one my favorite shows of all time. I got on the bus to go to work. STILL NO EMAIL!!! Me at the time = OH WOE IS ME *fainting everywhere* But I was determined! I would either learn why I had to wait OR somehow get the Rx.

AND GUESS WHAT. THAT EMAIL FINALLY FUCKING CAME. And do you know what it said?

Of course you don't, I'm about to tell you.

It said that as long as I get 5 readings of my bp and the name and address of a nurse in Pullman that can give me the shot HE WILL WRITE THE PRESCRIPTION.

So now, I am on a quest. It is the quest for the Master of Shots, the one who can administer shots with such ease and accuracy that you'll wonder if you even just had a needle sticking out of your thigh.

I'm currently waiting to see how far between the bp readings have to be, because that will determine how long this will take. So a combination of win and disappointment. I'm just happy to have a way to somehow speed the process up.

IN OTHER NEWS. I have begin to work out more. Doing pushups here and there (trying to do 30 a day). That's pretty sweet cause I can already do more! Before I was all "Waaaaaah my fat is too much for my arms and I can't lift myseeeeeeeeeeeelf how would I ever survive if I had to hang on to the side of a cliff omegoooooooooooooood" and now I'm all "FUCK YEAH I CAN DO PUSHUPS" regardless of the fact that I'm still working with knee pushups of course haha ;)

It's been interesting the last week or so. I'm feeling really good and not in the "FUCK YEAH I'M AWESOME" kind of way (although definitely some of that) but more in the "I'm gonna get shit done and I'm sick of the way things are" kind of way. I've been heavy for a long time, and I've been ok with that for a while now. But recently when I realized I was unhappy with my body because it was female and NOT because I was heavy, something changed. It was kind of like this release of "Exactly, I've been ok with my weight for a while. And this just makes sooooooooooooo much more sense." It also made it easier to picture my "ideal" body image.

And with that, it was easier for me to see what I needed to do to get that body image. One of being fit and masculine. If I wanted to look that way I was gonna have to work on it before I even touched hormones. SO BOOM. PUSHUPS. TAE BO. WORKINGOUTLIFTINGWEIGHTSWALKINGDOINGEXERCISETHINGSWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

It's been about a week now since this happened, and it somehow keeps going.

I WANNA BE FIT MAN. AND IMMA MOTHERFUCKIN' DO IT.

What is something that YOU want to do? And what's stopping you? Is there a different angle you can look at it?

GOODNIGHT

Hand over those hormones man!

I have some exciting news for you all that I have been waiting to share for a couple days now.

I, ALEK, HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH A DOCTOR TO GET HORMONES!!!!!!!!!!!

*insert fantastic, jubulous, wonderfully artistic dance*

Well, I mean, I'm pretty sure I do. I definitely have the appointment but I'm not sure if it'll just be tests or what. I know that they're supposed to do tests to see where your hormone levels are at to begin with. But I am unsure if they can be done in the office because if so THAT'D BE BALLER. THANKS FOR THE HORMONES KTHXBYE.

I feel almost like a drug addict about to get his next dose of uppers. Except I've never been a drug addict so I really don't know what that feels like. I was watching a couple videos yesterday by other transguys and seeing how the hormones affected them. AND GUESS WHAT. I WAS AS GIDDY AS A LITTLE GIRL. My god I was all like "hehehehe OHMYGOD hehehe I'M ABOUT TO SOUND LIKE THAT hehehe WHAT A WONDERFUL EUPHORIA"

It's on the 29th of the December! TWENTY-THREE DAYS AND COUNTING BABY. And yes, I had to spell out the number specifically so I could capitalize it.

And as promised in my last post, here is the rest of my gender history for my therapist. I did add some commentary; don't worry, I didn't swear in the original document. I do have standards you know:

When puberty started to hit I didn’t have any idea what to do. They had told me about this in the 5^th grade, but I was way too scared about the fact that it would happen to ME. (5th grade me: Whaaaaaaat the fuck is this about bleeding once a month?) It was like a threat to my person, waiting in silence for the right moment to strike and rip apart everything I knew about myself. To be honest, I don’t really remember much about my chest developing. I do, however, remember checking my seat every time I stood up for probably 6 months straight to see if I had bled unrelentlessly all over it. I did NOT understand what the fuck they meant by "ovulation" and "tampons" and "cramps" and "fallopian tubes" mainly cause I didn't give a shit. Then one day I went to the bathroom and it was BAM. BLOOD. 8th grade = WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. I was so horrified, and I hadn’t a clue what to do or who to talk to. I don’t remember who I ended up telling, but it was definitely a day or two later. I was ashamed beyond belief, and I didn’t want single soul to know. Besides that I don’t recall much of my body changing throughout the years. I ignored it as much as possible and only did what was necessary to take care of it (things like wearing a sports bra and using pads/tampons). It was like having an arsenal of things to utilize so it was just taken care of and out of the way. I just kind of continued on in my little dreamland where everything was a-ok.

During middle school and high school I debated about whether or not I was straight. Eventually in the 9^th grade I came out as bisexual. I thought I had finally figured out why I had felt so weird! I felt fantastic, but that eventually dissipated as I continued to wonder what was so different about me. It wasn't until my junior year in college that I really started to get to the nitty gritty of my person. I had previously heard of the term ‘transgender’ and had in fact read about the transition of a transman while I was in middle school. I thought “That’s possible?! That’d be so cool! But…it’s in a magazine…I could never do that.” and that was the end of that. Now that I was older I had a better idea of what I was capable of. So now instead of thinking “That could never happen to me” my thoughts became "I really want that to happen to me." I wanted to transition. I wanted to become the person I had always felt that I was, but was never entirely sure how to find him.

I spent my days in the late spring thinking about this new thought; this idea of transitioning and how I was completely capable of going through this process. I watched so many YouTube videos posted by other trans guys and became more familiar with the idea. A few weeks later I started to talk to my friends about what I was thinking and the idea of transitioning and changing my name and everything. There was one conversation I had that I'll always remember: I was talking to a good friend about how I didn't want to make life inconvenient for other people by trying to remember a different name and pronouns. I was worried about stressing people out and making them uncomfortable and angry. She said to me "If it was just you and only you and there was no one else in the world and you could be whatever gender you wanted to be, what would you be?" I said I would be male and all she said was "There you go" and that was that. I was realizing who I really was, and the more I did the more I couldn’t contain myself. When I actually started coming out I felt the best I had in my entire life. This invisible wall that had been between me and the world was coming down. My confidence soared, and so did my personality. I fell into the person I was truly meant to be instead of pretending to be someone I wasn't. I have never felt more aligned with the person inside than I do today.

I hope you all are doing WONDERFULLY and enjoying the holiday season :)

Today I leave you with this:

Did you see that buff turkey?

Damn, I wonder if he's on steroids or some shit.

Told you I'd post after Thanksgiving! Haha!

Today, I thought I might post part of the gender history that I have to write for my therapist. After I write an AWESOMELY FANTASICALLY WONDERFUL UPDATE :D

Thanksgiving was awesome! I had delicious food, close friends and good family all around me for break. I talk a little more in depth about it here:

It also includes things about transferring to another school and yadda yadda yadda. I've been having a difficult time with school, and after talking to several teachers and what not I'm leaning towards transferring to a college in my hometown. I'm still talking to someone over there about it and trying to figure out money stuff. BUT SOON I WILL KNOW!!!!!1 And then life will be even better :)

So here for you all is the beginning of my gender history that I have to write for my therapist:

I never really acted how my sex was ‘supposed’ to. I hated dresses and frilly things and laces and everything that else that designated me as a girl. Once I was old enough to dress myself I dressed like a little boy. Sure I had several pieces of clothing that were girly, but I never wore them unless I absolutely had to. I was a tomboy all the way, and I wasn’t planning on stopping that anytime soon.

I can remember feeling different and acting different from the rest of the kids as far back as kindergarten. Even before that my tiny mind seemed to have an idea of what was going on. Whenever my grandparents said, “You’re our granddaughter” my response apparently was “No! I’m your grandboy!” As I got older I didn’t want to have a thing to do with the girly things that I was supposed to do. When my grade school held its 50’s dance I refused to even touch a poodle skirt and dressed like a greaser instead. I wanted to look tough and not wear some dumbass poodle on a giant skirt and a ribbon in my hair.

Before I turned the ripe old age of 10 I would dream that it was possible to change your sex on your 10^th birthday. I thought it would be just be so awesome if, before you blew out your candles, you could say that you wanted to be the other sex and it would happen. Your parents would pour hot water on you and BAM you’re the other sex! It was something that would last the rest of your life too, not just until your next birthday. I wished so hard that that could be true. It wasn’t, of course, and I was heartbroken. My next big fantasy that contained me transforming into a boy was singing to music. My thinking was “If I sing long enough to all these male voices on the radio, then I’ll become a boy too!” That also never happened, no matter how much I wanted it to. I was obsessed with finding the ability to change my sex, and eventually I lost hope.

I'll post more of it in the next post so stay tuuuuuuned!!!!!!!!!!!

And I will leave you with this because I fucking love this song

BUFF TURKEY SAYS EAT ME

Hey all :) Just wanted to post a quick update! I will be posting more this upcoming weekend so I can discuss thanksgiving festivities!! (Basically, how much turkey I ate) I am one step closer to my letter!! Check the video for more updaaaaaates. Wanted to let you know to watch out for a post and that I am not in a coma :D

HAPPY TURKEY DAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

In searching for a turkey picture, I found this:

http://www.foundshit.com/festive-knitted-turkey-hat/

My, That's a Dashing Sparkly Unicorn!

I want you all to know that I wrote part of this post on the bus. Yes, the bus. Why? Cause the bus is awesome and they don't question when I ride the bus like 3 times around the route (it's soothing, shut your mouth).

Oh damn it's been a minute now hasn't it? Yes, that's right. A full 60 seconds. Do you know why people say "damn it's been a minute now hasn't it?" cause a minute is a LONG FUCKING TIME or at least it can be. But you know that 60 seconds is longer than a second? So it works. Cause saying "I'll be back in a sec" is short and "I'll be back in a minute" is long. That and I pick up slang really easily. Meaning I tend to hear it twice and then start saying it. Except when my brother started using "say that" which I still don't totally get (damn I must be getting old).

Anyways, I'll start out by giving a mention to a friend of mine. Because for some asinine reason I told her I would. This girl, Andrea, is a pretty good friend and I enjoy her company when I feel like being around her. She is loud as hell which works for me because I tend to shout and hoot and holler and she supports my actions and thus I support hers. Once, when we had had one mighty fine Taco Tuesday (50 cent beers and 75 cent tacos can't fucking beat it), we went back to her apartment where she preceded to make PARMESAN CHICKEN or something of the sort. All I know is one minute we were sitting at her table and the next she was pulling some BOMB ASS FUCKING CHICKEN OUT OF THE OVEN. Every drunk man's dream I tell you what! (At least mine, the rest of you can suck it.) And then there was no chicken cause we ate it in about 30 seconds flat. Anyway, that poor girl is having a bad week (something about her car isn't working and pennys upside down and an $80 cell phone bill that the people are trying to tell her is $800). So I wanted to make her [seem] oh so popular by [finally] giving her a moment of spotlight on my humble little blog. That and I'm not sure when facebook comments will pop up 100 at a time saying "WHERE IS MY MENTION IN YOUR BLOG HMMMMM" cause she would not stop badgering me for my damn tumblr. So here you go Andrea, this one's for you:

IN OTHER NEWS, life has been busy. There is talk of dropping to part time school next semester (and possibly even taking a break for the semester). It has a lot to do with my current stress level, as well as the prospect of being on hormones by DECEMBER!!!! MOTHERFUCKING DECEMBER BABY FUCK YEAH!

So before I start the next topic I figure I'll mention this first: Thinking about it, I guess it's still me struggling to decide how I want people to perceive me. I identify as a man..but I'm transgender. But I've heard the term "transman" and I think that's gotta be the best. Because I think that perfectly describes it. I'm not sure if I'm gonna go around saying "OH HAAAYAYAYAYA I'M A TRANSMAN" although...maybe I sure make that a song...

NOW TO THE NEXT PART GOD DAMMIT:

(NO KITTY that's MY chicken pot pie!)

One thing I wanted to discuss was how I present myself to prospective dates. Not that it happens too often (actually not really at all) BUT! I must be prepared!

The dilemma:

Do I tell them I'm trans at first? Or do I wait? Because, it's not like I want the first thing out of my mouth to be "Hi how're you do---I'M TRANSGENDER JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW" and it typically isn't. BUT! When would be a good time to say something? Cause here's the thing: I'm trying to find girls attracted to men. And actually, if they're attracted to transmen that'd be badass. And I know it's possible BUT WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?!?! I will find her yet :)

I want you all to know that I got a sparkly unicorn on my face this past halloween pumpkin patch trip and I must say the unicorn is quite dashing (although I do make it look better)

Anyway, I kind of wanted to see if anyone had any ideas? I realize you may not have any experience with a trans person or what have you, but if you were to date one, when would you want to know? Do you think you'd date a trans person to begin with? (And of course, btw, it doesn't matter if you would or not. Everyone's got their preferences ;) so no worries!)

Hope you all had an awesome halloween and that you're already practicing for Thanksgiving!!! (It's the most filling time of the year!)

GOODFUCKINGEVENING!!!!1

PS Hope you got the Cartman reference

I Like Reading My Own Blog

Hello to all you fellow human beings who enjoy reading my blog because I write so fabulously. HERE IS ANOTHER POST JUST FOR YOU!

I just want to throw something out there: I find myself FUCKING. HILARIOUS. I mean seriously, have you ever listened to the shit I say? Priceless. If you should ever learn one lesson from me (nearly impossible, I know) then learn this: You know how they say dance like no one is watching and sing like no one is listening blah blah insert another inspirational message here? Well laugh at your own jokes because if you think they're funny, then they are funny as fuck. I can't tell you how many times I've laughed my ass off at shit I've said, billboards I've seen or things other people have done and NO ONE ELSE THINKS IT'S FUNNY. Which sucks for them, because I find it fucking hilarious. So laugh like no one else is laughing cause that shit is funny.

I want to share a personal achievement with you all: I GOT AN 84/100 ON MY FUCKING MATH EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some of you may be thinking "pffff I get 100 everytime" and you know what? YOU CAN SUCK IT. (but congrats for apparently being a fucking genius) Normally math is my hardest subject and I hate it. But. I've really been trying in this class and it's awesome to see it finally pay off. So an 84 to me is fucking badass and makes me feel like I'm doing something right. So if you are having troubles remember these words: DEDICATION. DETERMINATION. DREAM. You have to dedicate time to what you want to do. You have to be determined to see it through. You have to dream big if you want to be the real you.

God I just love rhyming things.

But sursly, those things will help you. Be real with yourself and your mistakes, and then figure out how to correct them. Sitting there and saying to yourself "ohmygoooood why can't I do this right uuuuuugh cry cry cry MY LIFE IS JUST SO HARD" regardless of how hard your life is, everyone has the ability to move past that. You gotta let the difficulties and fucking challenges in your life (hahahaha "fucking challenges" hahahaha) build you up, not tear you down. It's hard to do at times (trust me, I know) but somehow, some way you gotta do it. Even just turning "Man this sucks and I feel like an idiot HOW WILL I EVER DO THIS" into "FUCK YEAH I AM A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT" for just a couple minutes is a break from the continuity of hating on yourself.

You hating on yourself makes me a sad panda :(

Also just realized that I said it's impossible to learn lessons from me, so I want to say that if you're ever going to learn TWO lessons from me, let those be it.

So on to a new topic because I can be inspirational for only so long.

I'm sure that we all have things that we are not proud of from the past. I never used to believe in regret, but I finally realized that I was only lying to myself. Why? Because I don't want to admit that I have regret, that's why. Regretting shit sucks ass because it hangs over you like a fucking rain cloud on steroids. And what's even worse is when not only does it suck for you, but for another person as well. And what's even worse than that is regretting shit that isn't even your own fucking fault. A good friend recently told me (as many other people have) that you can't hang out in the past cause there ain't shit you can do about it. Dwelling on it only makes you hurt more and I think it just burns a bigger hole inside. So how in the fucking world are you supposed to move past that shit? Because sometimes it is a mix of regret and anger. Because sometimes people get angry at you for shit you couldn't control, and you didn't even realize how out of control you were until every fucking tiny god damn thing blew up in your fucking face. Because sometimes you get so fucking angry at those people and the world that you want to throw everything you own against the wall and cause as much destruction as possible. FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

So what's a guy to do?

Options:

1) Sit and be angry about it

2) Forget about it

3) Ignore the fact that it hurts you and pretend everything is cool

4) Learn how to forgive yourself and let it go

5) Yell at people for the rest of your life because of how angry you are

6) Try to learn from your mistake and be a better you

Review:

1) Your chair is gonna catch on fire, so don't sit and be angry about it

2) You're gonna make your brain explode from trying to forget about something that is locked so solidly in your brain

3) That's called bottling it up and it'll make your whole body explode in a disgusting fit of rage that no one wants to fucking deal with

4) One of the most difficult things to do, but worth it. Letting go is not the same as forgetting about. Letting go means you're not letting it control your life anymore.

5) No one will want to be friends with you, love you or even be around you which will make you even more pissed of cause you won't get why the fuck that's happening so don't yell at people for the rest of your life because(and I don't think I can emphasize this enough) you deserve to be loved

6) Hand in hand with option four. I think that part of being able to forgive yourself is being able to say "You know what? I fucked up, whether or not I was aware of it. And there's not a god damn thing I can do about it that shit except to figure out why I did and then what I can learn from it"

I want to throw out there that if you ever have shit you are dealing with and think you have no one to turn to, you have me. Even if it isn't talking about what it is right at first, I will do my damnedest to cheer you up because even that can do wonders. Email me (aestorvick@gmail.com), text/call me if you got my number, facebook me, whatever works. No one should have to go through shit alone.

And now, I will leave you with this:

GOODFUCKINGAFTERNOON

PS. Wear purple this Thursday (TOMORROW) to speak out against bullying of queer youth

Bathroom Antics

Hmmm...been quite a time period since there's been a post that I've written. I know, I know. You've all just been so sad without reading my witty comments, hilarious jokes and wonderful news. Well NOW YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT! Cause I'm back baby, and it's gonna be big.

First off, I've been searching for this Shrek quote for at least 2 weeks now. And by searching, I mean screaming the first line, mumbling the second line, half-assedly screaming the third line and then complaining about how I can't remember and I should "fucking look it up when I get home". Yesterday I realized I had a smartphone (hahahah irony) and tried to look it up that way. That ended poorly for the people working with me (or awesomely I like to think) because I began saying random Shrek quotes loudly. Ones such as "I like that boulder, that ias a nice boulder" Or "OOOOOH You're a GIRL dragon! I mean, OF COURSE you're a girl dragon!" And I couldn't find the one I wanted

:(((((

BUT! I do have a computer at home with internet so I looked it up there AND FINALLY FOUND IT!!!

"You are mean to me, you insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do!" THANK. GOD. I have been trying to say this one for so long and it was just SO IRRITATING I COULDN'T REMEMBER ONE FUCKING LINE. (In case you were wondering, it was the "you insult me" line which is funny because I do that to people all the time.) So now, when I go to work tonight I can start saying it to people so they can look at me funny and go "What the fuck are you on kid?" and I can say "MOTHERFUCKING LIFE BITCH IT'S MY DRUG" and then they'll ask for some and I'll say "Fuck no, go get high off your own life."

In other news, I wanted to talk about my bathroom situation because I'm sure that all of you just want to know where I like to pee. Well. Let's see. I'll start with a story because everyone JUST LOOOOOOVES STORIES (especially when I tell them :D)

I first started coming out around the same time as turning 21. Before I was even 21 I realized that this would put me in quite the dilemma: should I used the guys bathroom at the bar? I mean, I've never even been to the bars so it would be kind of badass to just start off using the dudes bathroom. So I decided to do that. At first I was super. fucking. weirded. out. First off, I discovered that one bar bathroom had no actual toilet seat (fortunately I didn't fall in). And every time (and still is) it was incredibly nerve racking to walk in every time for these reasons:

- Will one of the guys in there try to call me out? I know guys leave each other alone (cause I mean, you got your thang out) but still. I didn't want to hear "WOAH MAN. WOAH. Aren't you a chick?!"

-I HAD to show my ID to get into the bar, so will one of the bartenders see me walk in and then try to either a) head me off or b) call me out.

Because I'll tell you right now, one my WORST fears at this point is being called out. The last thing I wanna hear before I'm about to completely piss my pants cause I have to pee so damn bad is THAT'S NOT THE BATHROOM YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE USING.

Anyway, these heavily influenced my decisions while at the bar. I was doing pretty good, but then one night I went out with some friends I hadn't come out to yet. And of course, the fucking bathroom had to be literally DIRECTLY across from where we were sitting. Soooooo I chose to not say anything and go into the chick's bathroom. I did this twice, and BOTH times was half-assedly redirected to the guys bathroom. Both times the girls stopped, but I'm not sure why. Maybe they were so in awe of how sexy I am that they just decided to drop it? That's what I like to think.

So after that I was just like "Hey guys I'm transgender" and they were all like "THAT IS AWESOME" and now I use the fucking guys bathroom all the time FUCK YEAH

Also, another thing I found out about a guys bathroom at Mike's is the one on the bottom floor definitely has no door for the "stall" so that that was a fucking quick piss holy fuck.

Now, I actually strategize my bathroom use. I know where the least busiest ones are and when. I know where unisex bathrooms are and which buildings have one sex on one floor and then the other on a different floor (because separate bathrooms just weren't enough). And of course I don't look at a single fucking person when I go in, although I'm pretty sure no one looks at me either.

Although I swear some dude stared me down today when he walked past me, but that was out of the classroom I was standing outside of and I'm assuming he was just in awe of how sexy I am as well.

And now that is enough of toilet humor (hardy har har).

As a side note to this (but don't worry, I won't end it this way) I want to say that while I joke about these kinds of things and write it the way that I really do think about it half the time, some of what I write about can sometimes be rather serious. I like to write this blog and discuss these things with humor for a couple reasons: a) It helps to communicate to people unfamiliar with transgendered people what it is like to be trans (at least for me specifically), b) to inform people about certain things that trans people go through and hopefully someone can find the information useful (such as the hormone process, name change, etc) because really I hope that someone finds this blog that really needs it, and 3) it helps me deal with some of the more serious stuff because this is an outlet. It helps me remember that even though there are times that shit just sucks fucking balls and I wish and wish and fucking wish some fucking more, I'm lucky enough to have the support of my friends and family, have been able to be pretty open about it (my decision of course, but some people can't be at all) and that I am fortunate enough to be able to transition at such a young age.

But in all reality, these are serious things that trans people deal with regardless of being ftm or mtf. So I ask that you enjoy my blog (which you better damn well be doing already! I mean, I hope you are :D), but also realize that while I joke, I also deal with these things on a day to day basis as well as other transfolks out there as well as much of the GLBT community, just in different ways. I also think that may have been a run on sentence but really I don't give a shit :D

So now that I've given such a SUPER CEREAL SIDE NOTE, I will leave you with how sexy I am with facial hair:

Thinking maybe I should work on shaving cause that is a little off center.

Say cheese! Ooops, sorry I meant cheesy.

Working on that college beard brah

How YOU doing Ms. Sexy McSexy pants over yonder?

LOOK AT THAT FUCKING MUSTACHE. SO HOT. I can barely take my eyes away ~soooooo dreamyyyyy~

GOODFUCKINGNIGHT